I would never wish her back into this world where she fought cancer and disease for 16 years. However, there are days I truly miss her and am sad for the things she is missing here; like baby Samuel's first birthday yesterday, anniversaries, graduations, the fact that 3 of her grandchildren only know her by pictures, etc..
I can also tell you that while I don't always understand God's plan and why things happen, I can tell you that He directs them ALL. For instance, my mom loved to crochet, she had made blankets for all of my children, my brother's daughter, as well as friends children/grandchildren, that's what she gave as baby gifts at showers (you get the point). When she decided to quit fighting and stop all the treatments, she knew I was pregnant, but didn't know that I was having a girl (let alone that I'd have another one), but she had already made a yellow blanket for her. What we didn't know was that she had made two others as well. She had put them in a trunk and my dad found them after we had told him we were expecting, as was my brother's wife. Amazingly enough, there was one for a boy (Samuel) and one for a girl (Amelia-my niece). So, all of her grandchildren (even the two she did not know were coming) have a hand-made baby blanket from Grandma. I had Mini-Me just four months to the day after my Mom went to Heaven. That was probably one of the hardest days I had; the joy of my baby girl, but the sadness my mom wasn't there. She had been there for all the others, she hadn't missed one!! After Abby was born, hubby looked out the window and there was a rainbow - happens all the time you say?? Well, it hadn't rained there yet!! That rainbow was for me from mom, letting me know she still hadn't missed one, I just missed her.
So, you see, while I still cry tears, I know that I will see her again. I know it wasn't goodbye forever, just for now. So, I just hold on to all the precious memories and wait.
I Thessalonians 4:13-18
13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.